A peek into the mind of a hoplophobe or clever sarcasm?

Nothing quite sums up the irrationality hoplophobia as the last line of this op-ed:

Doug van Gorder via Boston Globe

But as a progressive, I would sooner lay my child to rest than succumb to the belief that the use of a gun for self-defense is somehow not in itself a gun crime.

Part of me is hoping that this op-ed is just some piece of witty satire, especially after reading lines like this:

An alternative to lockdown is immediate exodus via announcement. Although this removes potential hostages and makes it nearly impossible for the shooter to acquire preselected targets, it unfairly rewards resourceful children who move to safety off-site more shrewdly and efficiently than others.

Schools should level playing fields, not intrinsically reward those more resourceful. A level barrel is fair to all fish.

Forbid we allow people to run from danger, because some people might run faster than others. And I love the reference to fish in a barrel. If this isn't clever satire and this person is indeed serious, this is egalitarianism taken to the most dangerous extreme. If Glenn Beck ever needed evidence for his Progressivism-as-Disease theory, he's found it in this person.

I'm still hoping this is satire. And even if it is satire, you have to remember, there are people out there who aren't to far away from that mentality.